I do like it when a creator lets you retry the boss battle you lost, or has a capture and escape mechanic, or when the defeat becomes canon and the NPCs start gossiping about it. Sacrificing progress for H content is terrible but these days all I ask for is that the creators don't make the loss of progress too great like in Damned Kill Me where you have to die to see one rape animation, then you start at the beginning of the entire stage and there are 5+ enemies in that stage. This is what always bothers me with OneOne1 games where you literally get locked out of content if you lose too much. First of all, you're right and this is one of my greatest frustrations with a lot of games because you end up playing two different games one where you skip all the scenes to see the true ending and one where you lose constantly to see the H content you came for. Wow, I've been waiting to discuss this with someone for ages.
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